This morning I felt a little bit different than usual. I’m not much of a morning person, so the fact that I felt cheerful was already a win for the whole week, to be honest. As I made myself a cup of coffee, there was suddenly a small window of opportunity: my eldest son, 2 years old, played on his own for half an hour, and my 2-month-old baby slept in his little bed.
It was GO TIME. I got to unload the whole dishwasher at once and started cooking for dinner (yes, I know it’s early, but hey, whatever makes the evening routine easier, right?). Just when I started, the baby woke up, and my toddler decided he wanted to cry about his building blocks not fitting in the back of his toy truck.
I picked up the baby and tried to help and hug my toddler, but it was messy, and I tripped over some other toys he decided he needed to throw out of his play area in our living room. I felt already overstimulated, and it was only 8 a.m.
I wanted to have my morning coffee now, so I put down the baby for a short amount of time, but it got cold. Now, I usually just make new coffee, but this time, I couldn't be bothered. So I was going to reheat the coffee in the microwave, only to find yesterday's cold cup of coffee when I opened the door of this magical machine. That's when I gave up on the coffee and decided to just have an iced coffee (without the ice, of course — who remembers to freeze new ice cubes?).
And that's when I felt an overwhelming feeling of not being able to make myself even a simple cup of coffee.
Maybe the cold coffee isn’t proof that I can’t handle simple things. Maybe it says more about the kind of mornings I’m living in right now.
It says that my attention is pulled in a hundred directions before 8 a.m. That the smallest pause for myself gets interrupted by the loudest needs in the room. That caring comes first, even when I wish it didn’t.
If you’ve ever stood in your kitchen, holding a cup of coffee you never got to drink warm, wondering why even the simplest things feel hard — this isn’t a personal failure. It’s what life looks like when your brain is full and your hands are already busy.
Some mornings are just messy. Some needs are louder than coffee. And sometimes, letting it go is the kindest thing you can do.
And that’s okay.
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